I’m making some breakfast. I took a slice of bread out of the bag and looked at it. I’m looking for mold, but what I see is this sworl. A pattern in the center of the slice. It’s amazing, just amazing. Have you ever seen it?
Oh fuck, now I’ve destroyed it. Burned it to a crisp in the pan. I was making toast and then went to write this down.
How is it even possible
To count what the universe has given me today?
Have I escaped into reality?
How can I even begin to express my gratitude for all this life?
How can I say It’s enough?
That today, long ago when I was left on the side of the road with nothing,
Well, now, I have that and more.
Put your precious sanity aside for just one moment
And hear me.
There’s a cowbell ringing in my brain.
I was eventually picked up
By someone in an old brown Studabaker pick-up
Called “The Slug”.
“The Slug” and it’s inhabitants
Transported me hundreds, maybe thousands of light years
To someplace up in the mountains
Where my first shoot out was going on.
Jim and Ella were in the middle of the street,
Facing one another off.
They were husband and wife.
They were from another era,
Not too far back, but still unreachable.
I think about, how even now, my own children
And grandchilren don’t know me.
This is why.
And then I think, what the hell do I know
About my own parent’s and grandparent’s lives,
But of course, those aren’t real people.
And beyond that? Practically nothing.
Why do I feel bad about that?
Just because I went my own selfish way?
Well, I certainly escaped, didn’t I?
Well, of course you are real
And really I love you,
Well, maybe it’s because of that.
Maybe this will help…..
We went up a windy road.
We had a universe to explore.
We still wanted to find true love,
And we didn’t have a clue where to find it.
Or, how to live on this strange planet.
Jim and Ella turned and fired.
Both shots went wild
And fortunately, no one was hit.
They weren’t really aiming at other I don’t think.
My immediate thought was.
This is a god-damned illusion!
No, this was in Oregon,
I’m still not sure it really happened or I just imagined it!
Several years ago, at an indian pow wow in Sandpoint, Idaho, I met a woman who called herself “Good girl – Bad girl”. She invited me into a teepee where there were several children sitting in a circle, and began telling a Kalispel tribal story. I don’t even remember it at all. I couldn’t repeat it. I was just focused on the whole experience, and then she said to me, “Ok, now you tell a story. If you can’t remember one, then just make one up.” I couldn’t think of anything to say.
I don’t know where in the world she is today, life takes us where it wants to, but I want to thank her. She sparked my imagination in a way that couldn’t possibly have happened in any other way.
I owe her so much.
So what’s going out there now
And so, ok,
What the fuck is this line?
What the fuck is out there?
Why do I care?
I walk outside and see this amazing spider web.
There’s danger all around.
How do we even continue to exist?
Oh, shut up. They’ll never get that. Right?
I’ve just come back from the bathroom.
The packaging of the “Suave” toilet paper
Has a picture of a cute little baby wearing
A big smile and a blue baseball cap.
Tell me, Is that an appropriate image to go with
Something you wipe your butt with?
Sorry lord, I can’t come up yet. I still have to buy a robe.
…..To be continued.