From the Moment

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From the moment of our conception,
when the illusion of our separateness
was born,
When the umbilical cord was cut
and tied off,
And we first discovered
the discomfort of our otherness
and cried our first desire,
– we have yearned.

The first paradox arose
when we longed for
re-unity with the mother
from whom we were gushed forth,
and grasping our first grasp,
clutched her breast in hunger,
to suckle the nourishment
of her love
and the comfort of belonging,

while simultaneously-

We yearned for those first tenuous steps,
struggling so desperately for balance,
that would take us
into the wonderous play,
the frightening world,
so full of promise and possibility,
danger, dissappointment, death
and pure joy,
into our singularity, independence
and freedom.

We were divided from the beginning,
when our single cell became two
and then divided again to become four,
when we were swept into the current
of our creation
into the infinite maze of the universe
to experience all the wonder
and pain of existence
– our amazement.

Down all those crooked paths
of give and take
and a thousand multiples
of conflicting desire,
through all those pauses and starts,
the pulse of life,
seeking the lost paradise
left behind,
so elusive,
always beyond reach,

all the while,
trying to understand
what and who we have become
and are becoming,
in all it’s complexity,
finding
only
fragments, a fist full of poems,
a fistful of yesterday´s ashes,
until
at last,
we reach the end of the maze
and laughing at our folly and defeat,
we find ourselves at the beginning
and know
we are
already
truly
here
and this
is it.

 

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